Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Raising the bar

So, I know there are a lot of mommy bloggers out there.

I never really thought of myself as one, but since most of what I write is for the (eventual and ultimate) benefit of my daughter then I guess I ought to cop to it.

But when I run across blogs like this one, I can't help but wonder...

When did mommy blogging become so gosh darn slick?

Don't get me wrong: Hers is a lovely blog, with a terrific layout, up-to-date graphics, high-end design and amazing photography. I mean, come on -- Photoshop or no, my snaps would never turn out like those. (Those beets? Holy cats those beets! They make me swoon - and they're beets.) And then there are the recipes. There's no bottled peanut sauce or fajita seasoning packets to be found. I guess I just marvel at having the time to pull all of that together. Raising three kids, plus mad cooking skills, not to mention taking the time to shoot & shop it all and then write about it? It's like she decided to live what Martha Stewart is selling.

And is actually pulling it off.

I am impressed. And she doesn't even appear to be one of those moms with a not-so-hidden marketing agenda. Sort of makes me think twice about what the heck I'm doing here. Cause slick I ain't.

Jealous much? (Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes.)

Addendum: The response I'm getting to this on Facebook is unexpected. Maybe I didn't write what I thought I was writing, as my point was meant to be more about the explosion of "glossy" mommy blogs rather than a fish for moral support and/or praise. Will have to re-read future posts with multiple perspectives in mind to avoid what might appear to be manipulative pleas for attention.

That said, thanks for the moral support and reminders that being "Sara's supermommy" is really what it's all about.

Friday, August 21, 2009


My mother always said that rain brings good luck.

We have had a remarkably mild summer this year, but for the past few days August has tried to make up for this by offering up a particularly uncomfortable run of hot, humid days interspersed with rain showers and thunderstorms. Personally, I love storms and the energy that they bring -- but the muggy, hot days I can do without.

Similarly, day-to-day life over the past week has been particularly uncomfortable as well: Running in too many different directions for too long, trying to meet the needs of most everyone but myself. Yesterday I finally hit the wall. I was done. I slept for more hours than I can remember sleeping in a long, long time.

And then today I woke up better rested, and the weather finally broke too. The rain is still here but has brought with it cooler breezes and more of these pleasant but unusually mild days. So, before Sara woke from her nap this afternoon I decided to take advantage of the time and the weather by sitting outside and swinging under my sister's tree. There was a heavy grey cloud blowing our way and I knew another shower was coming but I didn't care; in fact, I thought it was perfect.

Just after I sat down I noticed an abandoned nest at my feet, blown out of the tree during one of the storms earlier this week. It was a sweet little robin's nest, still perfectly intact despite the elements. I thought about how much work that bird must have put into building it's small home, and what a good job it did for it to look so perfect even after it's unceremonious eviction from that tree.

And then it started to rain.

It was hard to ignore the parallels to our own nest, the one we've spent so long working on but that will be beautiful and well-built when it's finally done. I took it as a sign that we would find our home there soon -- maybe not as soon as we might like, but soon nonetheless.

I'm going to keep that nest, and fill it up with wishes for all the things I hope to find in our own: peace, good health, happiness, love. And it will be a reminder of the time, effort, and patience it took for us to get there, and of the storms we had to weather to finally, finally, come home.

The rain blessed me today. Good luck, indeed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Soft spot

As Sara gets older I find myself struggling more and more with the one thing that I just can't seem to deny her.


Because every time I hear that desperate need in her voice, the panicked harmonic that tells me she's afraid I'm not going to be there, I lose my resolve. I can't let her live with that fear for even a second because I know how it feels. I experience it every day and - for the record? It feels pretty awful. Yes, yes, even at my ripe old age. I'm pretty sure you never stop needing your Mama.

I just won't let my little girl carry that crappy feeling around yet. And so bedtime might be a nightmare for awhile, and I might spend more hours than I care to remember calming her irrational fears. It just doesn't matter. She's got me, and I'm not going anywhere. That's all she needs to know.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I can't do it all ~OR~ My to-do list is actually quite short

Here is what I do:
  • Get up with Sara every morning
  • Feed her (or at least keep her from eating candy for breakfast)
  • Shower
  • Get dressed
  • Make coffee -- sometimes, drink it
  • Look for breakfast to eat in the car -- sometimes, find it
  • Think about finding something to take for lunch -- sometimes, make it
  • Work: that's another post entirely
  • Get home & assume Sara responsibility
  • Clean house -- no, pick up crap; no time for cleaning
  • Ask Rob to do laundry (a few times a week)
  • Sometimes fold it
  • Worry about the house
  • Worry about money
  • Worry about Sara/my health/the future
  • Go to the grocery
  • Cook
  • Wash dishes
  • Keep Sara from killing herself
  • Give her a bath
  • Argue with her
  • Bargain with her
  • Discipline her
  • Put her to bed
  • Several times each night
  • Collapse
  • Sleep
  • Get up and do it again
  • Wonder why

Here's what I don't do:
  • Make a healthy breakfast for Sara & myself
  • Get to work on time
  • Enjoy my job/consistently make a difference
  • Spend time playing with Sara
  • Plan menus to have healthy dinners & lunches prepared
  • Exercise
  • Enjoy 15 minutes of quiet, just for me (maybe drinking coffee)
  • Get enough sleep
  • Spend enough time with Rob
  • Spend enough time with my friends
  • Read (daily)
  • Write (daily)
  • Create (daily)
  • Behave nicely (all the time)
  • Do the things I really enjoy doing, every single day
  • Live happily with less
  • Simplify (everything)

All I need to do:

  • Switch titles on the lists above.