Friday, January 26, 2007

there is nothing sadder than an empty crib

i know a lot of people will cringe when i say this, but right now it feels very true:

nothing in the world makes me as happy as she does. nothing even comes close. now, it is also true that nothing makes me feel as tired, or as nervous, or as inadequate, or as overwhelmed. but it's a fair trade i think.

tonight sara b is staying with the brenners. i love them for it, as very very soon i plan on taking these tylenol pm tablets sitting next to me, peeling out my contacts, and snuggling in for a long winter's nap. my aunt elaine is here to help out with dad and, with no baby itching to start the day at the crack of dawn, i hope to get caught up on some much needed sleep.

enter the empty crib.

i don't know what it is, but walking into the room tonight and seeing her empty crib made me feel so sad. it was about the time i would be giving her her last bottle -- the only time of day she will actually sit with me, content to be quiet and still. her blanket was there, and the toys she pitched onto the floor from her nap earlier today. the bink was close by, just in case. but the reason for it all was missing.

i'm such a sap.

the picture with this post is a familiar sight: here mama, open this up so we can play with it. ok bear, we can play with it. tomorrow, we can play all you like. i promise.

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