Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So, Dad called today

OK, not really. But I think maybe he was on the line for a second.

I played a short round of phone tag with my brother today. He called the house, Rob couldn't get the phone. I called his cell, he didn't answer. About 30 seconds later the phone rings, and the caller ID says CJ's cell.

So, I answer it: "Hey."

And then, from the great beyond or above or his condo at Washington Park, I don't really know where, but I swear my dad answered me: "Yeah?"

I stopped cold. I actually had my mouth poised to say "Dad??" I think I actually did say "d." Then I snapped back to reality, realized it really couldn't be him, and remembered what the caller ID said.

CJ's cell.

I think it was a bunch of things: The creaky voice that sounded just like Dad's did at the end; the weather (I sat and watched weather like this for hours -- no, days -- when Dad was finally confined to bed); the growing similarities between my father & brother; the fact that 12 more days will mark one year since he died. And it's not like this is the first time something like this has happened... Rob tells me that there was one night, a few months afer Dad died, when he got home late from work & tripped coming up the stairs and I yelled out "Dad" in my sleep. (Middle of the night falls were quite common those last few months.) And I can't count how many mornings I've woken up, far too early, thinking that I needed to go make sure Dad is OK.

I don't know. I don't necessarily like it when these things happen. It really freaks me out for a minute, as you might imagine. But then there's that flash, that half a second, when it feels like he's still here. And that's not so bad, you know?

Still miss you Dad. Say hi to Mom for us, will you? (We miss her, too.)

Oh, and for the record... If I ever go to answer the phone and it says Dad's condo, I am SO not answering it.

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